These 7 Tips Will Make You an Effective Parent

Gita Savitri, a YouTuber, recently wrote on a social media platform about how not having children can help one stay young. Without children, she has more time to sleep for eight hours and more money for botox.

What exactly is child free?

A childfree marriage is one in which the husband and wife agree not to have children. Childfree and childless are not synonymous terms. Families without children are those who have not yet been blessed with children but wish to become parents in the future.

Views on childlessness have sparked a societal debate. Many agree, but many also disagree. Economic factors are the most important consideration for supporters of this viewpoint. Raising children has a significant financial cost. If a person is struggling financially, it is better to avoid having children than to make their life miserable.

Aside from economic factors, reasons for not having children include the environment, health, career, and lifestyle choices. Meanwhile, the opposing group claims that this viewpoint contradicts Eastern culture, which holds that one of the goals of marriage is to have children.

Furthermore, there is an old saying that is still believed today: "Many children, many blessings." That means that each child will bring their own blessing, so having children is not a concern."

Is it true that people don't want to have children?

Hasto Wardoyo, the head of BKKBN, stated that being childless has had no impact in Indonesia. Although the World Bank revealed that the birth rate trend in Indonesia continues to decline, it is still far from population decline. Even in 2019, the average birth rate per 1,000 population in Indonesia was 17.75%. 

The BPS population census results also revealed a decrease in the population growth rate. The population growth rate from 2010 to 2020 was 1.25%, which was lower than the previous period from 2000 to 2010, when it was 1.49%. These figures show that Indonesia's population growth rate is continuing to slow.

The changing attitudes of the millennial generation toward parenting have also influenced the trend in those numbers. The reasons for this generation's decision to have only 1-2 children are based on economic and psychological factors. They are realizing that being a parent is not an easy task. Aside from financial security, children require emotional closeness and love from their parents.

So, what should parents do if they have children? Regardless of the childless phenomenon, here are some things that need to be done to become an effective parent.

1. Improving a child's self-esteem

Children begin to develop self-esteem as early as infancy. When they see or hear their parents' faces and voices. As a result, parents' words and actions have an impact on their children's self-esteem. Praise children for their accomplishments, no matter how minor. Children's self-esteem will suffer if they are compared to other children. Every child will make mistakes. Love them even if you disagree with their actions.

2. Give compliments

Children enjoy receiving praise from their parents just as much as you do from your boss. Begin with small gestures, such as when a child cleans their bed or toys without being asked. Make it a point to find a child's behavior to praise every day. Love, hugs, and praise can help a child's future development and growth tremendously.

3. Set boundaries and stick to discipline

Parents who fail to set boundaries or correct their children's bad behavior are actually harming them. Discipline is used to teach children acceptable behavior and self-control. Children may test the limits you establish. They do, however, require boundaries as they mature into responsible adults. One common error that parents make is failing to follow through on consequences. Maintain consistency in your teaching methods.

4. Spend some time

Spend time with your children. Perhaps at breakfast or before going to bed. Small requests, such as their daily activities or homework, will please them. You can also invite them to participate in weekend activities together. Allow them to choose the activities they will participate in together.

5. Be a good role model

Parents serve as role models for their children. Set a good example for your children by your good behavior. Don't be surprised if your child imitates you when you're angry and use foul language. Show your children the behaviors you want to see in them, such as respect, kindness, honesty, and a willingness to help. Thank you and praise. Treat your children the way you want to be treated.

6. Show your unconditional love

Parents are responsible for correcting and guiding their children. Avoid blaming, criticizing, or attacking your children. This can harm their self-esteem and breed hatred. Make sure your children know they are loved. Give your children positive family interactions that they can remember as they grow up.

7. Prioritize communication

Parenting requires effective communication. The childhood relationship is maintained through communication, which should be based on respect and trust. When correcting bad behavior, parents must explain why. Simply saying "you have to do it this way" will confuse the kids. 

Children will wonder about their parents' values and motivations if parents do not explain. Set firm guidelines for your children. If there is a problem, express your feelings and invite your children to work together to find a solution. Be open to your child's ideas. Encourage your children to debate and bargain. Children who participate in decision-making are more likely to do so.

Raising children is not easy. It takes a lot of effort to be a good parent, and there is no single best way to raise children. Do your best, be confident, and enjoy your time with your little ones.

Be aware that every individual has the right to choose whether or not to have children. What matters is that the decision they make is based on the agreement of the husband and wife. Let's respect each other.