Oversharing and How to Shut It
What personality type are you? Do you frequently divulge personal information when under stress and unable to manage yourself? Or do you share your most private information with people you don't know well, such as strangers, or even those who aren't your closest confidants?
Oversharing occurs when someone does not hesitate to talk about anything to vent their anger or frustration, or anything about themselves. They frequently fail to consider whether others are comfortable listening to them. After all that, they feel ashamed and regretful about the whole conversation.
Indeed, oversharing appears enjoyable and relieving at first because anger or frustration is released. Oversharing, on the other hand, can be harmful to one's mental health! Constant oversharing has the potential to cause additional issues, such as increased anxiety and feelings of isolation and shame.
Even if someone appears to be listening, they may not be paying attention or caring at all. Or, netizens who read long stories on social media may mock them. It eventually becomes a source of gossip.
Oversharing may be difficult to stop once started; the more frequently it is done, the more difficult it is to get rid of.
Why do people overshare?
1. Attempting to quickly establish familiarity in a relationship
Some people feel awkward when establishing a relationship with a new colleague, and they may be willing to divulge personal information in order to overcome this embarrassment. However, they may be attempting to build emotional intimacy too quickly, before the relationship is ready.
2. To avoid silence
Others may overshare to avoid silence because they are uncomfortable in its presence. This tendency drives them to do anything, including oversharing.
3. Unaware of body language
Someone has started to look around, fake a chuckle, or cross their arms to indicate that they want to quit talking.
People who have difficulty reading social cues are less likely to be aware of oversharing.
4. Having social anxiety
People who suffer from social anxiety are more likely to overshare, as anxiety around other people can trigger this behavior. This can be due to a lack of self-confidence or a desire to please others.
5. Feel comfortable with strangers
Someone could feel at ease with strangers while sitting in a waiting room and starts chatting here and there. They may eventually share a lot of personal information that the other person doesn't really need to know without realizing it.
When people believe there will be no long-term social consequences, they are more likely to overshare.
Controlling oversharing
The lyrics on an old song remind us of the power of the tongue. "Indeed, the tongue has no bones. Words have no end ..."
Why can't we be more careful about what we say and to whom we say it? It can be difficult to be wise with our words and choose who we share them with, especially because it is human nature to connect with others. There are times when we feel compelled to express ourselves to others. We might even tell strangers about it.
When we are emotionally overwhelmed, it can be difficult to resist the urge to share our feelings with others. As a result, it's critical to manage our emotions wisely in order to avoid oversharing and potential harm to ourselves or others.
Stop oversharing!
Expecting things to change quickly when attempting to reduce oversharing is unrealistic. First, determine the root causes of oversharing. Is it trauma, anxiety, ADHD, or a more passive communication style?
If you find yourself talking too much to someone, give them the opportunity to ask questions. Also, consider whether you aren't just talking too much to console yourself.
Here are some things you can do:
1. Pay close attention to and prioritize your discussion partner
Listen with the intention of learning rather than planning your response during a conversation.
We frequently believe that oversharing will catch the attention of the person with whom we are conversing. In fact, the opposite occurred. Oversharing can actually drive people away from us.
We will know the right words and the right amount to share if we improve our listening skills and comprehend those around us.
That’s why the most important communication skill is listening.
2. Remember, the less information you have, the better
In today's fast-paced world, few people can hear and remember your information. The more information you give them, the less likely they are to remember your points because they are drowning in a sea of details.
Take note of when oversharing is likely. This allows you to spot patterns and remain alert during certain conversations.
3. Make it a dialogue
Think before you talk. Consider how knowing the facts you're presenting will benefit the person you're speaking with, and then make it engaging.
Oversharing is a monologue. People dislike monologues, unless they are delivered by a comedian. Most people seek out dialogue.
Remember to take a breather. Solicit questions. If the mood is too solemn, crack a joke.
4. Learn how to control your emotions
When you feel the need to overshare, have a healthier set of coping mechanisms on hand, such as exercise, walks in the park, and creative expressions like writing and drawing. These activities may provide more relief than talking to someone who may be unwilling to assist or address a problem.
Speak with people who will not only listen but will also respect their privacy when they need to discuss something. A therapist or counselor can help you break the cycle of oversharing and develop healthier coping mechanisms instead.
Yet, disclosure should be voluntary rather than coerced. With the help of a therapist, you can learn to control your speech.
If you want to learn more about self control, visit GWS Medika Clinic or click on WhatsApp.
